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  • Writer's pictureTerry Ruth Eissfeldt

Finding My Intention

Updated: Aug 1, 2023

What do you want out of life? Do you know? Of do you only know what you are expected to want?

Maybe your childhood dreams and interests, like mine, were never nurtured or celebrated.
It's easy to diminish our preferences when surrounded by people who put them down or ignore them.

As a child and teen I was told my dreams of becoming a riding instructor were delusional and wrong. I did it anyway.

When I got married at 21 and had 4 children by the time I was 29 my choices were questioned and even laughed at. I knew it was what I wanted.

When I decided to homeschool my children I was challenged on every front. I carried on.

Looking back I recognize I know how to find and stick with my dreams even under opposition.
So what happened to that girl? Why have I the last couple of decades been drifting in the doldrums?

Somewhere along the path of life I lost me to:

* childhood trauma
* people pleasing
* physical pain
* loss and grief
* self sabotage
* martyr syndrome
* spiritual abuse
* exhaustion from years of "taking it on the chin and keep going'

Now is the time for me to shake it all off, heal up, put off the old and put on the mind of Christ and find my groove again. My groove...not society's, not my parent's, not my husband's or my children's. Mine.

My best life is motivated by love, passion, and Jesus. He keeps all things in perspective.

1. Love God
2. Love others - especially those you think are unworthy of it

The INTENTION I've re-found is the truth that I was created to SHINE!

I SHINE when I:

sing, share, spark, spearhead
heal, help, herald, hatch
inspire, illuminate, influence, initiate
narrate, nudge, name, navigate
encourage, elevate, equip, explore

It's difficult for me to write these words down, claim them for myself and speak them out.

From childhood onward at times I've shined too bright for other people's comfort zones.
I've been told to quiet down, get under control, my behaviour is shameful, and my motivation is selfish and evil.

But no longer will I heed the accuser - even when it's my own thoughts!

I know who I was created to be.

I SHINE because I have a story to write and share. A story of healing, hope and wholeness.

Is it time for you shake off other's expectations, past hurt, and trauma?

It takes courage, determination and knowing who you were created to be.

But if you take the time to acknowledge and sit with your pain, (self inflicted and from other sources) find the help you need, and take daily steps forward you will overcome.

Then you will find your true essence. And when you do you'll fuel your dreams from an unending source.

I know because I'm doing it.

I'm not saying there aren't hard days or times I let the wrong voices have a say, but I promise it gets easier and easier to shut them up!

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